Batman #657: Hope You Brought Your Shark Repellant...

Hey everyone. It's me again. Yes, it may have been seven months since my last post, but that didn't mean that I ever gave up on this site.

Okay fine, I pretty much did do to lack of interest (both yours and mine). But I kinda felt like writing a review, so here we are. Well, here I am at least...

BATMAN #657

Marvel and DC have come up with some truly terrible ideas in the past.

Hey, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it shows that the companies are taking risks, right? I mean, for every bad idea seeing print, there’s probably a brilliant one as well. And in the long run, it’s the great ideas we remember. When you look back on the eighties, do you first think of “The Watchmen,” “Sandman,” and “Crisis on Infinite Earths,” or do you think about the comic adaptation of “Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos?” Assuming you have a human soul, the answer should be the former.

Keep that in mind whenever you read something you hate. If it’s really bad, odds are the publishers will realize they made a mistake, and try to rectify the error as soon as possible. After all, how many times have they changed Spider-Man’s costume, only to return to the original?

And what’s more, sometimes an idea you hate might turn out to be something amazing. If I had been alive when Stan Lee announced that his new lineup of Avengers would consist of ex-Super villains, I would have been outraged. Of course, it was this line-up that gave us Hawkeye, one of the most popular Avengers of all time. When I first heard that Vertigo was doing a comic based on a plague that killed off all the men on earth save one, I rolled my eyes at what I imagined to be the B-movie schlock that was populating comic stores. As it turned out, “Y: the Last Man” became what’s now one of my favourite comics on the shelves. So yeah, even the worst-sounding ideas have potential.

That being said, the idea to give Batman a son sucks completely and utterly.

As far as ideas go, this is one of the worst ones I’ve heard in quite some time. I’ve heard it said that ideas are like children. If this were true, this idea would be the semi-retarded child who sits at the back eating paste, even when the class isn’t doing arts and crafts. Friendless and odd smelling, no matter how much special attention the teacher directs towards the child, he is doomed to a life of failure. Best-case scenario, the child doesn’t do too much damage to those around him when he grows up, and dies alone in an alleyway behind a Pizza Pizza.

Does this mean no super-hero should have children? Of course not. Super-heroes can be parents, assuming the hero has reached a point in his or her life where it would be the natural progression for the character. But Batman? Giving him a son will always and forever suck.

I have nothing against drastic changes in longstanding franchises. In fact, I often welcome them. However, Batman may be the single comic hero who DOESN’T need new life breathed into him. Just look at Paul Dini’s Detective Comics, where by simply tweaking longstanding Batman staples, he’s crafting engaging and fresh reads. He’s not doing anything drastic. He’s just telling good stories.

Some people might say that this drastic change for Batman isn’t unheard of. After all, Batman is practically already a father to Robin. But if that’s so, then why are we giving him another son? No sir, I don’t like it.

Now, as for Batman issue 657 itself, it’s not bad, all things considered. I suppose if one had to tell a story involving Batman’s son, this is how I’d like to read it. Credit where credit’s due, Grant Morrison has never given me the impression that he’s ever been unaware of what he’s doing. Here, he’s certainly taking an unconventional approach, mainly by making lil’ Batman into something of an asshole. This slightly restores my confidence, as it seems to hint that this new addition to the Bat-family will hardly be permanent. Still, even if he gets shipped off back to London or wherever, nothing will be the same for me, because I’ll spend the rest of my days living in fear of the inevitable “Lil’ Batman Returns” miniseries.

Batman’s son aside, it’s a decent read. I’m not a huge fan of the art, but I think I’m in the minority there. I’m not too sure why Batman’s giant stuffed dinosaur tries to eat them, but that could be a continuity thing I’m unaware of. Otherwise, there are some neat moments in this issue, as can be expected from Morrison. Highlights include Alfred’s interactions with Batman’s son, as well as a neat little dialogue between two henchmen, with an equally neat payoff.

I didn’t want to see this comic written, but as it’s here, I suppose it gets a 7.5/10.

Astonishing X-Men #13: Grr! Argh!

Well, it’s Reading Week for University of Windsor students. Unfortunately, Reading Week was last week for like 80% of the other universities, which means I’m here in Toronto alone while everyone returns to their academic institutions of non-Windsorian origin. Tomorrow, I’ll probably hit up Paradise Comics and stock up. In the meantime…

ASTONISHING X-MEN #13

I feel kind of bad reviewing five Marvel books in a row, but hey. The only DC I was able to get my hands on this week was Batman, and I already reviewed that.

Anyways, issue 13 marks the return of Joss Whedon and John Cassaday after a however-many-months-long hiatus, and is none too shabby. While the latter six issues of the previous run was pretty meh-to-fair, they did leave us with a fairly intriguing cliffhanger, and I was worried that Whedon would wait a few issues before re-addressing it. But such was not the case. Whedon launches the new storyarc Torn with an opening that answers a lot of our questions regarding issue 12’s cliffhanger, but of course doesn’t give everything away.

Being the first issue of an arc, it’s hard to judge how good the series will be, but judging from the quality of this issue it certainly has potential. I really enjoy Cassandra Nova, and Whedon’s certainly adept enough to write her.

However, there are two things that bugged me (aside from this issue’s ending, which wasn’t as shocking as I think it sought to be):

1) The dream sequence. I’m guessing it will have some weight on later events, but still, it’s been done quite a lot recently in X-books. Seriously, they’ve been popping up all over the place. What’s more, this one, while trying to be creepy (and okay maybe achieving it quite a lot thanks to Cassaday’s artwork), has its creepiness undermined by its inherent goofiness. I paraphrase…

Kitty’s Dad: Kitty?

Kitty: Dad? Is it you?

Kitty’s Dad: Yes, it’s me.

Kitty: It can’t be!

KD: Seriously, it’s me.

K: But how? It’s impossible.

KD: Trust me. It’s really me.

K: Wait, this is impossible.

KD: Believe me. It’s true. It’s me.

K: Oh Daddy…

KD: PSYCH IT’S A DREAM! GRRR! ARGGH!

2) Whedon, while still being respectful to the work Grant Morrison has done, has a tricky job of altering a few details while not contradicting New X-men. He does this relatively okay-ly, except that he resorts to a tactic I’m seeing pop up more and more: Mind Wiping. It’s a very convenient tactic, but holy shit has it been used a lot. Need to explain why Dr. Light went from killer to patsy? He got mind-wiped. Need to explain how Professor X apparently re-united Cyclops with his brother years ago? Cyclops got mind-wiped. Need to explain how the Sentry could possibly have been an established super-hero for the past 30 years? THE ENTIRE FUCKING MARVEL UNIVERSE GOT MIND-WIPED. Anyways, it’s not nearly as drastic here as that last example, but COME ON. Let’s go a week without mind-wipes, if you please.

Otherwise, Cassaday’s art is almost as Beautiful -with-a-capital-bee as it was way back in issue 1. Almost. I’ve sort of noticed his faces can look sort of goofy sometimes (last page being a good example). I’m not really one to talk, though. All the faces I draw look like feet.

8.5 out of 10

Flergh

Okay, I'm sorry to do this so soon since my last no-post, but with midterms and all that jazz I doubt a review will be posted for at least a week. For what it's worth, I've made significant changes to my myspace profile (and am still in the process of doing such) so if you feel so inclined just give a little clicky to the link on the right.

Cheers.

I can't believe I said cheers.

X-Men #182: Just When I Thought I Was Out...

Hey, everyone. Hope all your Valentine’s Day celebrations are at the very least not suicide-inducing. Personally, my plans for tonight are as follows: I will be having a lovely candlelit dinner. After that I think I’ll watch a romantic comedy, followed by a night of pure passion. Unfortunately, I will also be spending Valentine’s alone.

Ba-dump bump. Tsshh.

X-MEN #182

It’s been quite some time (other than last month) since I’ve read an issue of X-Men. This is mainly due to the fact that with a few exceptions, X-books have been known to suck for quite some time. And at the time that I dropped this book, X-men (as opposed to Astonishing X-men, New X-men, Uncanny X-men, District X, etc.) was the worst of them. Actually, no. Uncanny X-men was the worst of them. X-men was, however, rather bad.

Anyways, I dropped the book over a year ago, and had no regrets. Sure, the book’s sucky writer Chuck Austen had just finished his even suckier run, and was being replaced by Peter Milligan, writer of my overall favourite series X-Statix. This was not enough to convince me that the series had any potential, and the lacklustre first few issues of Milligan’s run didn’t help none, neither.

Good riddance, I said.

But then, last month, I was checking out the shelves at Border City when the cover to X-Men #181 caught my attention. Now, here’s a quick tip if you want me to purchase your comic: put a picture of a member of X-Statix on the cover.

So I’m just in Border City, minding my own business, when all of a sudden I’m like “Hey Mike! What’s Doop doing on the cover of X-men?” and since Mike didn’t know he replied, “I dunno.” And then I was like “Well I’m going to buy it and find out.”

And then I bought it.

Anyways, that was last month. This is this month. I was disappointed to discover that Doop was nowhere to be found in this issue, but what I did find was a pretty engaging story, with some equally engaging artwork.

The basic premise for this new storyline, entitled “The Blood of Apocalypse,” is quite simple. Apocalypse is preparing a lot of the usual (most likely involving some people getting killed), and this issue is pretty much dedicated to him preparing his plans. However, there’s a lot of appeal to figuring out how his plans will play out. Perhaps the main source of appeal is in the mystery of who will become his four horsemen of the apocalypse. It appears he already has a Pestilence and a War, and has his sights on one other candidate for the third horseman. Which brings me to my next point, and the single most enjoyable aspect of this issue…

… Milligan makes Sunfire into a badass. What’s more, he makes Sunfire a badass despite (or perhaps thanks to) the fact that he has no legs. He doesn’t radically change the character, or give him new powers. He simply gives him a chance to “shine.” In the past issues I’ve seen with him, Sunfire’s always come off as a bit of a prick, and generally has gotten himself beaten up pretty badly as well. In this issue’s backup story, there’s still the beaten up jerk we know and love, yet I find myself in awe of what he has to go through, as well as the decision he makes at the end of the story, given his current situation. Seriously.

This issue is not, however, without its faults. The Rogue/Gambit developments by this time have gotten boring (I don’t think they were ever interesting) and even borderline painful, but not in a good way. I’d say that Milligan isn’t a good soap opera writer, but considering the intricate relationships found in X-Statix (man that was a good book), as well as the constantly crappy X-men soap opera plotline under ANY past writer (exceptions being Morrison and I suppose Whedon), I’d say that this is less Milligan's fault, and that maybe X-men should steer clear of this style altogether.

Still, I quite enjoyed this series, and have half a mind to go back and collect the stories I missed out on in the past year. Unfortunately, I hear that Milligan is leaving the book soon. Well, I’ll stick around until he leaves. Then we’ll see.

7.5 out of 10

Captain America #14: I like the art. A lot.

Originally, I was going to post this week’s review on Marvel’s first “I (Heart) Marvel” issue, but I found that they didn’t have a picture of the cover on the Marvel website, which I always try to include with the review. So I gave up. That’s just a little behind-the-scenes info for you guys. Whatever.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #14

Okay, I’ve been reading a bunch of Brubaker’s work for a while, starting with I guess his second Sleeper run. I have to admit; he’s one of the better, if not the best, writers when it comes to a story filled with twists and turns (which is just how I like ’em).

That being said, his contributions to longstanding Marvel icons (and to a lesser extent, Wildstorm icons) have been insane, to the point of Slow-Down-You-Maniac. In less than two years, he’s killed off the Red Skull, killed off Banshee, killed off Nomad, killed/reorganized much of the Authority, and brought Bucky back from the grave. On top of that, in the next two-ish months, it looks like he’s going to kill off Foggy Nelson and bring back Thunderbird. Or something like that.

While most of these have seemed like needless shock-value ploys, it is his two Captain America related events, the death of the Red Skull and more specifically the return of Bucky, that in my opinion have been dealt with the most effectively. Interestingly, it’s naturally the one that would make people the most nervous. After all, isn’t DC doing the same thing with Jason Todd in the pages of Batman?

What makes this particular story so good is the way in which Brubaker reaches us on an emotional level. Sure, it would be one thing to have Captain America be all mopey and emo (I’m looking at you, Batman), but Brubaker uses many more subtle techniques, such as a conservative employment of flashbacks, in order to achieve the same emotional resonance. It doesn’t hurt that the art is so great to look at, neither.

The storyline has had a few, well I guess the word I’m looking for is missteps, in the past few issues, but they aren’t present in issue fourteen. One of my favourite parts is the use of same-time storytelling in the first two pages. I think that it was a fairly novel idea, and would like to see it used to a greater degree some time in the future. Only hopefully will be as great to look at.

This issue serves as the conclusion to the Winter Soldier arc. Naturally, not everything is wrapped up into one neat little package, though significant headway is made, and a victory is achieved on the hero’s side. Normally, I’d be quite nervous about the way in which this victory is achieved (the fix-it-all cosmic cube), though it’s clear that the cosmic cube can only do so much, and that there will in fact be repercussions. I’m willing to see it play out, if for no other reason than because I like looking at the art.

Oh, and the last page, while slightly see-coming-able (I didn’t, but someone in last month’s letters page did), is pretty neat, and without giving anything away, I must say looks great.

9 out of 10

Deadly Genesis #3: Where the Banshee dies, though not so well

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #3

As far as comic book history goes, rare is a “major event” in which no longstanding characters are killed. X-men Deadly Genesis is no exception. As anyone who has read issue 2 can be sure, the unlucky character that gains this distinction is none other than established mutant Banshee.

I guess he’s sort of had it coming, futility-wise. I mean, I don’t even think Sean’s appeared in a single comic in the past five years (okay, obviously that’s untrue, though no notable appearances come to mind). His main power comes from his Banshee-like shriek, and come to think of it, didn’t he have his vocal chords cut a few years back? Ah well.

However, just because he won’t be missed doesn’t mean that his killing wasn’t incredibly random. In one of my old Wizard magazines, author Brubaker stated that in this issue a longstanding character would die. He went on to mention how he didn’t want to kill this character, yet the more he wrote, the more he realized that his death was unavoidable.

Um, wait, what? His death was unavoidable? Do you know how he got killed? He was flying around and got hit by a fucking plane, one of the most random forms of death in fiction (plane, cars, or any vehicles are all up there). That’s like having someone get crushed by a falling piano and saying that “there was no way to write around it.” Lose the fucking piano. Problem solved.

But then again, after reading this issue, I think what Brubaker meant was “I had to kill him, otherwise no one would buy this otherwise rather shitty comic.” Honestly, there’s like no point to this. Well, I guess there is one, but it’s being revealed at a snail’s pace. Plot-wise, I don’t think that a single advancement has been made. Which would be understandable had this issue been used to deal with the tragedy of Banshee’s demise. However, the fact that he got killed isn’t even really dwelt on, not on an emotional level, at least. Instead, there’s a throwaway line along the lines of “we’ll mourn him later” and it’s business as usual.

The added back-story, like the past two, is pretty neat- Brubaker creates another interesting character with an original superpower (well, actually, I invented one just like her in grade 12, but let’s not into THAT). However, I sure hope that the next 2-3 issues don’t just follow the same formula: introduce a character, show their powers, and show how they got recruited into Moira MacTaggart’s mysterious program. Let’s find out more about what happens to these characters.

I have a feeling that there’s a point to this story, and a potentially awesome one at that. Unfortunately, it’s drawn out a lot longer than I’m comfortable waiting.

Also, the art doesn’t impress me much, neither. Beast looks like Gurgee (or however you spell it) from The Black Cauldron. And that was a pretty shitty movie.

5 out of 10

Not cool, Aaron

Though no one actually reads this site, I still feel obligated to tell you all that due to a relatively rough week, and a subsequent making up work-wise for said week, I have not written any new reviews for said said week. That was a long sentence.

But fear not, non-existant readers! Hopefully I'll be back this weekend, guaranteed to review your socks off!

I know this isn't great, but here's like a mini review from last week:

X-statix presents Dead Girl #1: I like.

Infinite Crisis #4: Very awesome, but there's no real explanation to what happens. Hopefully it'll be found next issue. Otherwise, holy moley.

Sorry, but that's all I can do. Back to homework!