Batman #657: Hope You Brought Your Shark Repellant...

Hey everyone. It's me again. Yes, it may have been seven months since my last post, but that didn't mean that I ever gave up on this site.

Okay fine, I pretty much did do to lack of interest (both yours and mine). But I kinda felt like writing a review, so here we are. Well, here I am at least...

BATMAN #657

Marvel and DC have come up with some truly terrible ideas in the past.

Hey, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it shows that the companies are taking risks, right? I mean, for every bad idea seeing print, there’s probably a brilliant one as well. And in the long run, it’s the great ideas we remember. When you look back on the eighties, do you first think of “The Watchmen,” “Sandman,” and “Crisis on Infinite Earths,” or do you think about the comic adaptation of “Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos?” Assuming you have a human soul, the answer should be the former.

Keep that in mind whenever you read something you hate. If it’s really bad, odds are the publishers will realize they made a mistake, and try to rectify the error as soon as possible. After all, how many times have they changed Spider-Man’s costume, only to return to the original?

And what’s more, sometimes an idea you hate might turn out to be something amazing. If I had been alive when Stan Lee announced that his new lineup of Avengers would consist of ex-Super villains, I would have been outraged. Of course, it was this line-up that gave us Hawkeye, one of the most popular Avengers of all time. When I first heard that Vertigo was doing a comic based on a plague that killed off all the men on earth save one, I rolled my eyes at what I imagined to be the B-movie schlock that was populating comic stores. As it turned out, “Y: the Last Man” became what’s now one of my favourite comics on the shelves. So yeah, even the worst-sounding ideas have potential.

That being said, the idea to give Batman a son sucks completely and utterly.

As far as ideas go, this is one of the worst ones I’ve heard in quite some time. I’ve heard it said that ideas are like children. If this were true, this idea would be the semi-retarded child who sits at the back eating paste, even when the class isn’t doing arts and crafts. Friendless and odd smelling, no matter how much special attention the teacher directs towards the child, he is doomed to a life of failure. Best-case scenario, the child doesn’t do too much damage to those around him when he grows up, and dies alone in an alleyway behind a Pizza Pizza.

Does this mean no super-hero should have children? Of course not. Super-heroes can be parents, assuming the hero has reached a point in his or her life where it would be the natural progression for the character. But Batman? Giving him a son will always and forever suck.

I have nothing against drastic changes in longstanding franchises. In fact, I often welcome them. However, Batman may be the single comic hero who DOESN’T need new life breathed into him. Just look at Paul Dini’s Detective Comics, where by simply tweaking longstanding Batman staples, he’s crafting engaging and fresh reads. He’s not doing anything drastic. He’s just telling good stories.

Some people might say that this drastic change for Batman isn’t unheard of. After all, Batman is practically already a father to Robin. But if that’s so, then why are we giving him another son? No sir, I don’t like it.

Now, as for Batman issue 657 itself, it’s not bad, all things considered. I suppose if one had to tell a story involving Batman’s son, this is how I’d like to read it. Credit where credit’s due, Grant Morrison has never given me the impression that he’s ever been unaware of what he’s doing. Here, he’s certainly taking an unconventional approach, mainly by making lil’ Batman into something of an asshole. This slightly restores my confidence, as it seems to hint that this new addition to the Bat-family will hardly be permanent. Still, even if he gets shipped off back to London or wherever, nothing will be the same for me, because I’ll spend the rest of my days living in fear of the inevitable “Lil’ Batman Returns” miniseries.

Batman’s son aside, it’s a decent read. I’m not a huge fan of the art, but I think I’m in the minority there. I’m not too sure why Batman’s giant stuffed dinosaur tries to eat them, but that could be a continuity thing I’m unaware of. Otherwise, there are some neat moments in this issue, as can be expected from Morrison. Highlights include Alfred’s interactions with Batman’s son, as well as a neat little dialogue between two henchmen, with an equally neat payoff.

I didn’t want to see this comic written, but as it’s here, I suppose it gets a 7.5/10.